Forest.

I think , one of the best way to get out of this world is to get into the forest. There’s nothing to scare you. but here, in this fuckin world you got one and only most intelligent, dangerous creature to scare you and kill you with their innocence . Their fucking lies , their masked faces will kill you. And you’ll never get to know the real one.

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I don’t know what am I writing this. But still I insist on writing this one . Last Friday , my Ielts tutor humiliated me about my inability of speaking English . Well I know that I can speak well better than anyone in that class room . But the reason I couldn’t speak or talk was him . But after that I decided to make him regret for what he has been said to me. I’m not a failure, instead of sarcasm I’m gonna show him off the real me. The real power of me .If anyone has a taunting smile then it’s him , not me. I’m good enough to do anything in this world . I’m inevitable . IAM who IAM and that’s my biggest strength. I believe in myself . I started to talk about everything. And everything. The only reason I write it all here is , I’m sure that no ones gonna read it . So I can make anything happen here. I can put my rage here. Through words.

Fatherhood

Being a father isn’t an easy thing. It needs love , affection, kindness , strength , courage. But here, I think my father doesn’t know anything about it at all. All he knows is controll everything and everyone. A father should be the first hero of a daughter. Otherwise he will be the first villain in her life. that’s what happens here . He’s not my hero nor my villain . He’s just a hypocrite ,an arrogant person. That’s what he is.

New journey

I think, I should start my journey here . Breaking all barriers ,seeking new doors, loving the impossible. To learn love, without a person. To care without any attachment . This is my new life. Writing the inevitable , trying the untasted . Only now I realized , how beautiful it is, to be alone , to be beautiful without expecting appreciations . Love is nothing but realizing the inner beauty of oneself.

Loving this.

I never knew this.. I never knew this language would influence me like this. Loving and expressing through this one. It’s amazing, first time I started to learn something , I started to enjoy what I do. Happy about what I’m up to .

Learning new things

I learned something new this year. If people do it once, they will do it again.You cannot trust anyone, they will use you like a puppet.they will make you forget your name.There’s no such thing as love,you can’t love a person without loving yourself. I don’t know if it’s wrong or right but I think most men only want sex from women,and they will call it love.

What a cliche 😅

I don’t know what to write..I have nothing in my mind..So i was about to tell my story right.?

Yeah well after two or three months we were like that much close,if someone saw us together they will be like we were in love for years..like that..but when i started to tell him my problems, my family background etc..He was like ohh i didn’t Know that..etc..

Sometimes he consoled me but it wasn’t permanent..when he got a dream about going abroad and almost he did every procedures for that.. After that he started to treat me like you should think about you ..you have to keep a distance from me.. Actually he told me to stay away from him . I didn’t know what to do..I cried and cried..Even i tried to commit suicide but abi(my friend) helped me to get over it .But even after that I wasn’t gonna leave him….

Reason

I’m writing my whole life here..not because i want to publish it but bcoz of no one will see this nor read it.. I’m not a big friendly person so i don’t have a lot friends…But which I have is the best

2016 June 13

It was the most wonderful day in my life..Now I’m not sure about that..when libiya told me to meet him i was very angry..I already have a lot going on and i wasn’t ready for a relationship..but she compelled me so at last i said ok..that i will meet him and say hello..So we waited in the church..(Now My favorite place)..

So after waiting for a long time.. there..He wasn’t that much good but more like a OK…😊But I don’t know how my whole body started to sweat..after that we gone for a tea..so that we could talk..and on the way i lost my earrings..😑

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